My run this weekend led me to an fun little insight I had to share. This run was unique in two ways, one it was ridiculously long, and two I did it in a state park near my parents house (not my usual stomping grounds). I was nearing the end of my run, and the rest of the world was just getting going. All morning my dad and I had the entire park to ourselves. So we took the bike on the hiking trails (oooo naughty). I was currently running on the bike path (we're such rebels).
I heard a bike behind us and turned and looked. It was a boy, about 10, and a toe-head. Oh, he was waiting impatiently patient for my dad to get the hell out of his way! He was attempting to contain the urgency he felt as we climbed the "big hill" on the path. What's on the other side of the uphill? A down hill! What type of heretic doesn't want to fly down a curvy hill! I could feel his panic, and yet he didn't say a word. "Dad, get over. You're in the man's way!" He came zooming by us and then let go of the handle bars! It was fun to watch him arms out, blonde head still, body swaying, as he coasted down the hill! Then came his two brothers very close in age to him, also blonde and zooming, and his "Grandpa".
"Three boys ey?"
"Yep"
"Wow! Good Luck"
Chuckles "thanks I need it"
It was like the grandpa and I had an understanding, a bond. That I wouldn't have known he needed luck if I didn't have a couple myself. "It's a Jeep thing you wouldn't understand". You know how Jeep owners wave a certain wave at each other as they pass. It is like that. I don't know if having daughters is like that too, because I don't have a daughter. I don't know why it is; patriarical society, puppy dogs tails? Who knows. I do know that is how it is.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Activities
I don't know how many times I've heard, "Isn't about time to get Cooper into sports?" He is now 8 and has been enrolled into his first scheduled activity, Gymnastics. I'm sure this frustrates some of our friends and family, some of whom have been waiting watery mouthed for years to see what kind of athletic potential he (as the son of two D1 athlete) holds. When we finally sign him up for a sport, we go for something non-competitive.
Well, I guess we felt it was more important for him to be a kid first. We decided, while he was still just a fetus, that we would wait to sign him up for something until he asked. We also decided that skills needed to come before competition. We made a short list of sports that would teach overarching skills, and build an aerobic base, while simultaneously strengthening and preserving his muscular, skeletal, and nervous systems. Gymnastics, Martial Arts, and Swimming. That's the list he had to pick from.
We've attended only one class. So far, the major benefit I've witnessed is a rise in his overall confidence. He loves it, and is incredibly competitive so I'm glad he's only competing against himself for now. He needs to learn that skill before actually competing against someone else. So far it's obvious he has inherited his father's persistance, balance, grace and strength. He has inherited his mother's intrinsic motivation, intensity, and rediculous drive. One day a week we all get explore Cooper's athleticism with him. It's going to be a great adventure. The other 6 days a week, he can play.
Well, I guess we felt it was more important for him to be a kid first. We decided, while he was still just a fetus, that we would wait to sign him up for something until he asked. We also decided that skills needed to come before competition. We made a short list of sports that would teach overarching skills, and build an aerobic base, while simultaneously strengthening and preserving his muscular, skeletal, and nervous systems. Gymnastics, Martial Arts, and Swimming. That's the list he had to pick from.
We've attended only one class. So far, the major benefit I've witnessed is a rise in his overall confidence. He loves it, and is incredibly competitive so I'm glad he's only competing against himself for now. He needs to learn that skill before actually competing against someone else. So far it's obvious he has inherited his father's persistance, balance, grace and strength. He has inherited his mother's intrinsic motivation, intensity, and rediculous drive. One day a week we all get explore Cooper's athleticism with him. It's going to be a great adventure. The other 6 days a week, he can play.
New year same old crap
Well, a new school year is underway. My youngest son is entering Kindergarten. Luckily his teacher has recognized his well developed sense of humor and embraces it. I've been having flashbacks to Billy Madison. News Week just published an article that comments on the latest study concerning the fall out of boys in the education circle and their rise in mental health issues. http://www.newsweek.com/id/157898?gt1=43002
I can't help but agree with the author of the article. I am going to go one step further and say: the biological, physical, and emotional needs of boys hasn't evolved over the last 15 years. Boys today are essentially the same as they were in 1950, or 1800, or 1995. They still experience the ebb and flow of testosterone, they still tend to be bodily kinesthetic learners. Their needs haven't changed, but the world around them has. So duh! Of course they are depressed, and inattentive and lack interest in school. Wouldn't you if you had the uncontrollable urge to be up and moving. An unquenchable curiosity satisfied only by experiential knowledge. How would you feel if you followed your instincts only be told you were being "naughty". I'd hate life, school, myself.
Think about how boys have been depicted through literature, and movies over the last few hundred years. Huck Finn (the boy archetype), Oliver Twist, Sandlot. Instead of having a world of Hucks, Tom Sawyers, McDuffs, and Mercutios we have a lot of Hamlets and Romeos walking around wondering "exactly what is the point". What was once the exception is now the norm, and visa versa. When was the last time you saw a group of boys voluntarily organize themselves into a game of pick up ball, or work together toward a goal of their own? We are failing to let them be. As a feminist the idea of letting boys be boys once terrified me. I figured we'd have a lot of homicidal, testosterone charged woman-haters running around. After 8 years of dealing with growing boys I now understand that they desperately need to learn through facilitated exploration. They need to learn about consequences in a caring environment. They need freedom to play. They learn through doing, through play, and wither when placed at a table with a workbook. They become the rebellious, unhappy Huck driven to the river (an extended metaphor for life's learning curve) for peace, safety, and to do "real" learning. Boys learn very little this (seat work) way other than to hate the "establishment", that they have nothing to offer it, and that the "establishment" is better off without them.
Not only are we not meeting their needs, we are condemning our sons for behaving the way their bodies tell them too. What's the difference between then and now. Sitting in a seat most of the day (and childhood obesity is a mystery? Come on!), paper work, in stead of manipulative learning, and scheduled activities eat-up playtime. So if I hear that either of my sons won't sit still, or jumps down the stairs, or won't pay attention during reading I might just cheer for him because he is doing what his teacher/school is not. He is attempting to meet his needs. I'll work with him at home to help learn to read. (Please note, it's been widely published that until the age of 7 most boys lack the cognitive functions, regarding language, required to learn to read.) I think we got lucky this year. Both teachers seem tuned in to boys, and more specifically, my boys. Good luck to the rest of you, parents and teachers alike. They need us to be their advocates! Mark Twain got one thing right. Boys, in an environment that is stifling to their needs, will "act-out". So listen to them, and to the facts.
I can't help but agree with the author of the article. I am going to go one step further and say: the biological, physical, and emotional needs of boys hasn't evolved over the last 15 years. Boys today are essentially the same as they were in 1950, or 1800, or 1995. They still experience the ebb and flow of testosterone, they still tend to be bodily kinesthetic learners. Their needs haven't changed, but the world around them has. So duh! Of course they are depressed, and inattentive and lack interest in school. Wouldn't you if you had the uncontrollable urge to be up and moving. An unquenchable curiosity satisfied only by experiential knowledge. How would you feel if you followed your instincts only be told you were being "naughty". I'd hate life, school, myself.
Think about how boys have been depicted through literature, and movies over the last few hundred years. Huck Finn (the boy archetype), Oliver Twist, Sandlot. Instead of having a world of Hucks, Tom Sawyers, McDuffs, and Mercutios we have a lot of Hamlets and Romeos walking around wondering "exactly what is the point". What was once the exception is now the norm, and visa versa. When was the last time you saw a group of boys voluntarily organize themselves into a game of pick up ball, or work together toward a goal of their own? We are failing to let them be. As a feminist the idea of letting boys be boys once terrified me. I figured we'd have a lot of homicidal, testosterone charged woman-haters running around. After 8 years of dealing with growing boys I now understand that they desperately need to learn through facilitated exploration. They need to learn about consequences in a caring environment. They need freedom to play. They learn through doing, through play, and wither when placed at a table with a workbook. They become the rebellious, unhappy Huck driven to the river (an extended metaphor for life's learning curve) for peace, safety, and to do "real" learning. Boys learn very little this (seat work) way other than to hate the "establishment", that they have nothing to offer it, and that the "establishment" is better off without them.
Not only are we not meeting their needs, we are condemning our sons for behaving the way their bodies tell them too. What's the difference between then and now. Sitting in a seat most of the day (and childhood obesity is a mystery? Come on!), paper work, in stead of manipulative learning, and scheduled activities eat-up playtime. So if I hear that either of my sons won't sit still, or jumps down the stairs, or won't pay attention during reading I might just cheer for him because he is doing what his teacher/school is not. He is attempting to meet his needs. I'll work with him at home to help learn to read. (Please note, it's been widely published that until the age of 7 most boys lack the cognitive functions, regarding language, required to learn to read.) I think we got lucky this year. Both teachers seem tuned in to boys, and more specifically, my boys. Good luck to the rest of you, parents and teachers alike. They need us to be their advocates! Mark Twain got one thing right. Boys, in an environment that is stifling to their needs, will "act-out". So listen to them, and to the facts.
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